Contact After the First Date

Everyone thinks they know when you should contact someone after the first date. Do not listen to them. There is no set time frame. If you contact them too soon, too often, too little or too late, you might seem desperate or disinterested, depending on which one you choose. You never know which approach to choose until you pick one and evaluate the results. We have fallen into one of these categories and realized we took the wrong approach. Do not over think something that is actually very easy to understand.

A text message can serve as a subtle means for contacting the person you are interested in. You should not wait long before you send this text message. Again, there’s no set time frame for when you should establish contact. Once you have finished the date, you should determine your next move based on how well the date went. Do not play hard to get. You might read that it’s cute to play hard to get in numerous articles and on countless websites. It’s not. It’s annoying. If you play hard to get in the dating world, stop it.

You can contact the person you just had a date with whenever you want. Make sure you limit yourself to one call and one text message though. A time frame for when you should establish may not exist, but the line between interested and psychotic does. If you’re not sure which side of the line you’re on, put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Would you take yourself on a second date if you acted like how you’re acting? If you answer no to that question, you should stop what you’re doing immediately.

You should spend a lot of time figuring out what you will say in your text message or phone call. With a text message, you can choose exactly what you will say before you say it. Do not send your text message until you’ve read and reread it. You wouldn’t want your potential spouse to read something incoherent and potentially insulting. The same goes for telephone voicemail messages. Run through what you will say before you reach the point where you have to leave your message. You only have one opportunity to leave the right voicemail.

When you’re dealing with online contact, the rules don’t change. You shouldn’t send someone message after message or email after email. Send them one precisely worded message or email and wait for their response. If they never respond, you can go about your business. Do not stew on the fact one person decided they could better spend their time elsewhere. There’s a million people waiting to embrace you behind that one person who decided to reject you. You just have to get over yourself, forget about that person and go back into the world.